You Just Can’t Make Stuff Like This Up

UPDATE: with the help of friend Marjory, I’ve managed to place Don Tennant within the local community and concluded that it’s 99.9% likely that the following is, in fact, a brilliant parody.

If the following is a parody, it’s absolutely brilliant! 

However, it being a Letter to the Editor in the News-Gazette, Champaign’s rabidly-right wing newspaper, I’m inclined to believe that it comes straight from the heart of Mr. Tennant. 

Out here in the flatlands where the corn grows tall and the mayor of Champaign gets his 15 minutes of national attention by questioning Obama’s citizenship on You Tube, the odds on its veracity are overwhelming.

From the Opinions page of The News-Gazette, Champaign, Illinois, January 2, 2011.

(click on image to enlarge – text below)




Gay issue raises interesting question

As a Korean War combat veteran, Christian and grandfather of 14, I have some thoughts on the issue of homosexuals serving openly in the military.

Just who do those people think they are — these gays and lesbians — you know, the homosexuals of the Bible? Can readers believe that they have the gall, the audacity and the selfish desire to openly serve the country they honor and love by wanting to enlist in the U.S. military?

And, just think, they are demanding the privilege of serving during time of war.

What right or privilege do they think they have to possibly shed their blood, give up their lives or have their bodies torn apart by the weapons of war? Who do they think they are to want to protect their loved ones, friends and neighbors?

This should be an honor reserved only for right-thinking Christians and other straight-minded thinkers. It’s only our patriotic blood that deserves to be shed for our country.

Those people seem to think that they should have that privilege and honor. I’d rather lose the war than be protected by the likes of those disgusting sinners. Their blood is tainted and unworthy to be shed for our country. (Oh, but I do love the sinner, it’s just his/her sin.)

My Christian friends, we sure have to stick together on this one and make certain that our country is protected only by people like us who live by the words of love and wisdom set forth in our "Good Book." We sure don’t want to ask, and we sure don’t want them to tell us of their dirty little secret.


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2 Responses to You Just Can’t Make Stuff Like This Up

  1. Lisa says:

    I feel certain it is a parody, and I agree—it's priceless!

  2. Grumblebear says:

    I sure do hope you're right!

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